Erotic Dreams I, II & III

 

Your hand on my thigh creates a chain reaction traveling up my thighs to my core. i am shivering in anticipation of what is to come. Your strong hands and masculine fingers on my skin feels so good. I love the way you caress me just so right. I feel you brush over my hotspot as your hands slide up between my thighs. Ooo feels so good. Shockwaves of pleasure run through my body. “Do it again baby,Please” I say. I derive pleasure from your skins contact against mine. Feels so sensual, The definition of Pleasure and Desire. But i want more of you, I want all of you, and I want it now.

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Your lips on my breast have got me excited and as you suck on my nipples i feel ripples and shockwaves of pleasure throughout my body. “Suck Harder baby” I tell you. i feel myself getting wetter by the second. Now I am impatient to feel you inside me. I want you so bad. But you are teasing me and pleasing me. Oh yeah, today is a good day.

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I find myself craving you, needing you with such passion! I want you inside of me oh! How I want to Feel you in me. want to feel your desire. I want you to want me. I rub my hands down your back and love the feel of your skin. I love to feel you caress my skin. I can see how you love the feel of my skin under your hands. and when you hit my spot so good i lose control. My cries of passion enthuse you to greater heights. You thrust that much harder and I feel it and oh how I love it. It feels so good and I am so fuckin wet. I can’t control myself. I shiver as I come once again, my head so cloudy. the world has vanished. all there is is you. All I feel is you.

A Lonely Night in October

October 15th, 2009

Sittin out here on a cold night. I pull my coat tighter to keep more of my body heat in and I look around. Im not alone.. Im not the only one with no place to call home. ANd I think.. I am just glad my kids arent out here. I seem to keep thinking.. How did it come to this? How do I get out of it? I have been lookin for work. Shit.. I just had to get rid of most my interview type clothes cause they are too heavy to fit in my bag. I only have a few light things that i can roll small. Good thing it doesnt get too cold out here in southern Cali. Chilli but not too bad.. I don’t want to be here.. I could prolly whore myself out for a place to nap for a few hours.. But not worth it… I would rather sit here and think.. I would rather sit at a bus stop.. all alone.. Look at these near empty streets.. Listen to the silence of a city asleep.. Than have some dude touch me knowing he doesnt give a shit. Trust and believe I have been propositioned… “I will let you stay the night here.. if you.. do this, this and the other thang” I am like.. Im good.. I can chill for a few hours till
bout 5 am when buses and trolleys are running again… The hard part to me is carry all this shit around, lol. Just a backpack.. my computer case and a plastic grocery bag that has my goodies in it. Like a bag of chips, a muffin, a candy bar (I dont eat them really but just in case ) and a soda. I also have my coffee in hand. Iced Coffee today.. and no I do not care what anyone has to say about me or my situation. I dont care anymore. And most just talk to be talkin anyway… Whatever it is one might say I have already heard it..

La La Land

I also wrote this on my cell to moco last winter..

I lay my hands on my head, My head hanging down. So tired.. Feels like the weight of the world on my shoulders weighing me down. I wish, I pray, I dream. Yet when I open my eyes, it’s all still the same.

I write, I sing, I dance. I read, I blog, I eat. I live, yet I am not living. I am just surviving, And survivng is often not enough.

I want to play, dance, sing, rest. I want to drive, write, cook and love. I need more than survival. I need to do more than snatch such few rare moments to stay sane.

I fight for my sanity day in and day out. I battle anxieties at every turn. Yes, I still sing, Yes, I still dance. But I do it to shut out the world, the hurt, the stress, the loss. I read to escape,I do my gaming to forget.. if just for awhile.. my troubles. I write.. So that my downward spiral into LaLa Land can be recorded somehow.

I just want to get it back, So carefree I was, So faithful, So sure.. it would all be okay. Today all I have is doubt. Doubt in everything and of everyone. My heart and mind shuns disappointment and joyful hope. Because the fall from those highs is oh so painful and excruciating.

Yes, I sing, I eat, I live. But for how long? Will there come a time when I sing and dance and chat all to myself? while pusing a cart down the street. Happy as can be in my escape from reality. The ultimate escape. Maybe I am already there.. One of those ladies and all that is holding it all at bay is a cigarette.

To be one of those who have given up, on hope, on life, on love. To be one of those who cannot see the ugliness of this world and its more than useless denizens, because it is too much to bear. To join the ranks of the crazies, to argue with ones bags and luggage. To laugh at a trees jokes as if we were the best of friends. Fighting invisible assailants and seeing things noone else can. to chose to forget all of this worlds pettiness and selfishness.

To be one of those crazy ladies, maybe with a bunch of cats or a bunch of hats. Sometimes this worlds truths are too much. Maybe, just maybe, To truly not give a damn what people think.. Might there not be bliss, might one be even closer to god when we can no longer see this world as it is? who knows..

But they say.. the lord wont put more on you than you can handle.. So I wait and I live and I see… I wait for one or the other.. I wait for my breaking point to bend no more I be done with it all.. I wait for Jesus to save me…

I pray, I dream, I eat, I live. I sing and I dance. I write and I cry.. Waiting ..

I Dream of These Things

I wrote this, this past winter. i was going thru one of the most trying times of my life. I was texting it to my mocospace from my cell phone.

I dream dreams, Not of fancy mansions and luxury useless cars, i dream not of Bling, Bling.. But of my children. A car that just… runs.. A place to sleep and eat and bathe in peace. I dream of my children not being hungry, I dream of them having all the toys and things they need to be balanced individuals. I dream of my kids having decent, clean clothes. Not named brand this or that cause I do not want to instill such materialism in them. But I do want them to have clothes that will give them confidence they can grow into. I dream of teaching them to be thinkers and not followers of any in crowd. I dream of cooking for my children and my man.. serving good home made food at the dinner table. I dream of teaching them to cook and sew and to fend for themselves. I dream of a bed I can get into butt ass naked (cause I dislike clothes ) I dream of a man, who can lay there next to me in comfort. Just talking and holding and love. Nothing fancy or over done. Just us, having a family and living, loving and learning. Of showering and bathing in peace. Of decent lotion and being oh so comfortable and fresh and clean in his arms. No fancy jewelry or perfumes, No loud ass people in my room, all in my business. Just a door to a home that I can close it all out. Seems like simple things to me. Life things.

Food, Clothes, Shaelter.. Comfort..

I sit and I dream.. I wish and I pray, I hope and I Hope.. Its not asking too much…

Both Sides Now

The first time I see these lyrics  was in a childrens book I was reading to my youngins, but after the first couple pages I was like.. This doesn’t sound like a childrens book, But I like it. I read it to them often tho they are too young to get the meaning of it all.

(Joni Mitchell) ~ Both Sides Now/ Clouds

Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons ev’rywhere
I’ve looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on ev’ryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s cloud illusions I recall
I really don’t know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev’ry fairy tale comes real
I’ve looked at love that way

But now it’s just another show
You leave ‘em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know
Don’t give yourself away

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say “I love you” right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I’ve looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed
Well something’s lost, but something’s gained
In living ev’ry day

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all
I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all

Happiness

Happiness

Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you
want.

Happiness is not an accident. Nor is it something you wish for.
Happiness is something you design.

How sad to see a father with money and no joy. The man studied
economics,
but never studied happiness.

The greatest source of unhappiness comes from inside.

Happiness is the art of learning how to get joy from your substance.

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something
you design for the present.
Jim Rohn

Inspiration

One of my Favorite Inspirational writers. I love to read what he writes.

“One step back”
By Bob Perks

“How do you get ahead?”

 

“Take one step back,” I told her.

 

“That will get you nowhere,” she replied.

 

“Only if that’s where you’re going,” I said.

 

When someone asks for answers they are
often times only looking for the answers they
want.  Not facts they know to be true, but
choose to ignore.

 

You often hear that the first step you take
may be the most important.   I believe that
to be true.  It takes a lot to take that first
step, that’s why I suggest that the first one
be one step back. 

 

Step back for a moment and look around.

 

Where are you?
Take a sheet of paper and write in detail
everything you know about your environment.
Make lists of all the good things and those
you consider to be not of your liking.

 

When you move forward you will take both
with you.  The idea is to hold onto what you
want and let go of the others along the way.

 

Often times we keep carrying the same baggage
from place to place, even adding to it.

Because of that we also tend to let go of
the wrong things ending up in a different place
with new problems.

 

How did you get there?
Next in order to get to your ultimate goal, you
need to understand completely how you arrived
where you are at the present.

 

It’s time to come clean.  Analyze in detail the
previous steps and where you “think” you
went wrong.  I can’t say where you “know”
you went wrong because often times we have
no idea.

 

Where do you want to be?
This is “The Plan.”  Most people take more time,
make more effort planning a vacation than they
do their lives.

 

It’s serious, but you can have fun with it.  Use the
vacation planning as a guide and lay out, step
by step, where you will go, how long you want to
take and exactly what you want from the trip.

 

None of this will cost you a dime.  The greatest
plans, biggest ideas, all started in conversation
or on paper.  Even napkins in a coffee shop.

 

Like vacationing, plan for side trips.  That’s just
a part of life.  I watch “Globe Trekker”
on PBS television.  They always have a plan, but
the most exciting parts are the ones they never
planned.

 

My favorite Traveler, Megan McCormick says,
“When I travel on my own I like to see where the
road will take me (which frequently means
getting lost!)”

 

“All of these experiences have informed who I am and
have given me an enriched perspective.”

 

Begin your new life by taking the first step…
“One step back.”

 

Please don’t forget to send me postcards along the
way.  I love getting good news.

“I wish you enough!”

Bob Perks

I encourage you to share my stories but
I do ask that you keep my name and contact
information with my work.
 
If you would like to receive Bob’s Inspirational
stories, please visit http://www.IWishYouEnough.com
and submit your email address.

“I Wish You enough!” 
© 2001 Bob Perks

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear
much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Goodbye.”  

Heyas Folks

I will try and get this up and running soon